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– a deeper insight into –

Why we fail at life

WE SAY WE OWN OUR DAYS. BUT DO WE?

“What if my whole life has been wrong?”, whispered Ivan Ilyich. And died holding the arm of a woman he always despised…

  A word from the founder

When I first heard Leo Tolstoy’s story about the death of Ivan Ilyich, it shook me to a core. A vivid image kept flashing inside a mind as if witnessing this tragedy in a reality. A scene which haunts me until a current day.

Maybe because it brought into memory the fearful faces of dear relatives I saw in their last moments. Or could be that I myself, for years, walked a path of "no bright tomorrows".

Every contact with failure sparked a desire to understand how many of us live through the final hours filled with deep regrets. And why we fail at life? Restless questioning and exhausting researches guided me into eye-opening, yet shocking, discoveries. 

We do not want to think or talk about death. But we'll all die, you know that, right? 76% of people regret to have never fulfilled their ideal self. Ignoring these facts by sleepwalking through our days will only increase the chances of ending this journey in a sad way.

It takes courage and childish curiosity to question everything. Since you're here, questioning, I salute a genius mind still breathing alive inside of you! And hope my insights into why we fail at life will help find the answers that you might be seeking for today.

While I’m not claiming my views represent a holy-truth, I can promise you’ll not find this topic explained in such vivid detail anywhere else. It'll make sense and inspire you to examine your own journey. All statements are supported by statistics, science, personal observations, and years of self-mastery studies.

Take your time to review. Then see for yourself if you agree.

INSIGHT 1:

Disconnection from Self

Unconscious transition. From pure genius to "I'm not enough".

100% of us came to this world as pure human beings with a natural tendency to be generous and kind [1.1]. A study by NASA also shows that 98% of us are born geniuses [1.2]. Bright opportunities for a creative future ahead?

But then the adult rules, social norms and educational systems steps in. "Do this". "Don't do that". "Join us, or we'll reject you". We're now trained to limit our choices and become the followers.

Confusion and inner-conflict arises. Limiting beliefs, "I'm not worthy, I'm not enough" get deeply rooted-in [2]. The collective mantra is more. Adopted routines and habits will unlikely to vary after the age of nine [3].

Inborn purity is lost, and disconnection from a genius-self takes place.

Identity forms up, and ego flourishes. Demolished self-esteem backfires and turns into a lack. A lack of wellbeing, purpose, enthusiasm, persistence, accountability, or discipline. Negative attitudes, judgement, criticism, procrastination, distractions and excuses become our new companions.

Genius minds at the age of ten stands at 30%. It drops to only 12% by the time we're fifteen. On the opposite, teenage mental health issues reach 20% [4].
"Do you know who you are, and why you here? Are your current days serving you, and your people, in self-fulfilling ways?"

INSIGHT 2:

Following the Crowds

Mindless chase. Life pushing in a state of sleepwalking.

Graduate. Career. Money. Family. Retirement.
Career. Money. Family. Retirement.
Money. Family. Retirement...

Others are doing it, so it must be right? And so, without deeper questioning we follow.

Genius minds in adults, 2%. Global stress levels, 75% [5].
  • 53% millennials live through “quarter-life” crisis [6].
  • Life satisfaction levels drop after the age of 35 [7].
  • Nearly half workers are unhappy with their jobs [8].
  • Wealthy families are feeling a lack of purpose [9].
  • 76% regret they've never fulfilled their ideal self [10].
We measure ourselves based on the successes or failures of other people, and not on our own defined standards. The ongoing search for the next big thing is fuelled by ever-present greed, fears, worries. "Once I will have more, I'll be happy". 

Whose goals are we chasing?

Turning our backs on the reality, ignoring the areas of lack. We often choose to close our eyes and sleepwalk through the bright days in darkness. "Why bother. It'll be okay".  

Whose ways are we living?
"Are you stepping through the inspiring journey? Day in, day out? Physically, emotionally and spiritually, all areas throughout?"

INSIGHT 3:

Environment and Peer Influence

Voluntary "imprisonment". Birds of a feather flock together.

We can't change our birthplace or parents. But we can choose where, and who with, we spend our given days.

Elite sportsmen train with elite coaches and play with elite teammates. They win trophies. On the other hand, 76% of all inmates end up back in jail within five years of their release [11]. Because that's where they believe to belong.

The environment for majorities in-between?
  • 70% of deaths globally attributes to lifestyle-related diseases [12].
  • One in four adults were physically abused as children [13].
  • Two-thirds of young people have experienced bullying [14].
  • Almost half married couples get divorced [15].
  • 54% people feel lonely [16].
A list is long. Some percentages are lower, others are higher. But they all add up, and snowballs across the globe. To touch each one of us and take lifetime "prisoners" along the way.

Poor countries, entire nations are sinking in the suffering. While the people who live in richer and healthier countries will score highest on happiness levels [17].

There are exceptions, of course. But for most of us, our environment and peer pressure have tremendous power to influence how we live our life [18]. And ultimately how we'll end it.
"If you're to follow the same road your closest people are (proudly) walking on today, where will you end up to be?"

 A call to all Freedom Fighters, Peaceful Rebels, and Brave-Brave Souls

To end a journey of many years with the words, “What if my whole life has been wrong?” frozen on cold lips is the biggest tragedy imaginable.

We rush through life believing we own our days. But do we really? We hope we'll never have to face the consequences of the decisions we're making every step of the way. Yet, we will.

Awareness is only the first step. The statistics, while cannot be blindly trusted, they do try to tell us the important: a risk to spend the final hours suffering from deep, soul-crushing regrets is huge. "Who am I? Why was I here? I wish I've lived up to my ideal self..."

If we're not living a self-fulfilling lifestyle of 80%+ our ideal days, we may need to give a question of why we fail at life a more extensive thought. Then listen to a voice inside, screaming at us, encouraging to take actions towards a brighter future.

Why not re-connect with our long-forgotten selves, and become the masters of the remaining days? How many have we left? Who knows, but maybe we shouldn’t waste…

Why keep on following the social norms and everybody else's ways?

Why take on a 76% chance to end this life with the regrets?

Why.

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